hello, sun

today's flavor: SLIGHT DEPRESSION
anxiety : 1
agitation : 0

After about a month of evading the sun, I decided to boost my serotonin by taking a jog in much-needed daylight.  Yesterday was delightfully sunny (though a bit too warm for comfort) and I thought it would do me good to join the Hubby in his regular prevening walk/ jog.
 Now mind you, though I'm more regular in breaking my exercise routine than keeping it, physical activity isn't entirely unfamiliar to me. I'm no athlete but I'm no weakling either; I happen to have exhibited consistency and stamina in the past.  But yesterday's excursion was a horrible, laughable failure.

I began with enthusiasm, telling myself  "this is a good thing," "this will be good for me," in spite of my current depressive, low-energy situation.  I did my stretching and I looked forward to better blood circulation, improved serotonin distribution, increased physical energy, and  all the other positive things that come with a moderate amount of exercise. I said hello to the sun I hadn't made contact with in so long as it gave me a warmer-than-warm hug with its life-giving rays.

I planned to alternate slow walks with quick jogs in three-minute interval each, for an effective cardiovascular workout as prescribed by the health magazine.  I must have walked a mere kilometer - just walked, not even brisk-walked - when I felt like I was about to fall over and throw up all over myself.  No, that isn't figurative.  I tried to push myself to at least make it to the track oval I have visited numerous times before, but various pains all over my body told me this was a bad idea. I told the Hubby I wanted - nay, needed to quit; thus began the slow, disoriented trek back home, the Hubby leading me by the hand.  He deposited me at our front door, and I managed to take a shower (still wearing my sunglasses) and put myself to bed.  Physically, it felt like a tragedy, but after a good nap it looked like utter comedy.

As for the much-needed, serotonin-boosting sunlight... due to my temporarily limited mobility after the fiasco, my dose of  sun was also limited to the rays peeking into my window.  Oh well; a little bit of exercise and sunlight is at least better than none at all.  Maybe I'll do better tomorrow.  Or maybe I should postpone to next week.
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