stupid things to say to a (triggered) bipolar

Calm down.
Better alternative: Do or give something calming yourself, such as lower your voice, smile, or offer tea.  Subtly introduce a diversion, like a nearby butterfly or a shopping invite.  Try "Let's go for ice cream," or, "Hey, why don't we go out and watch that comedy you've been wanting to see."

You're overreacting.
Understand that bipolars have more extreme emotions, so they may not feel they are overreacting.Better alternative: See "Calm down".  Address the inappropriate reaction without invalidating his emotion. 

Don't get upset.
Honestly, a bipolar can't promise he won't get upset.  It's a stupid request.Whether or not it's your fault, apologize profusely before things get out of hand, maybe even just to show sympathy.  Offer something positive and calming. After he calms down, that's the time to have a discussion about whose fault it really was.

Why are you angry?
Stupid question.  Know that sometimes there is no reason for the anger; it's just a symptom of the episodes.  It may not even have anything to do with you.
Whatever you do, don't respond in anger, because this will worsen the episode.  Sheathe your claws. Someone has to be the pacifist, so take the initiative.
Better alternative: "I understand, but you don't have to be angry".

Smile!
Don't try to jolly-up a depressed person; it won't happen, and may just have the opposite effect. Better alternative: Invite him to do something he enjoys, or get him something he likes.

I wish you were dead.
... or anything similar, like I wish I never had you in my life.Careful with this one.  This can tip the scale if the person is already contemplating suicide.
Find something to appreciate about the person.
Be sensitive. Take suicide threats seriously.

It's nothing personal.
Though it may be true, it sometimes isn't very helpful.  A Bipolar can take things personally to the point of formulating conspiracy theories.
Better alternative: You have to show proof that it isn't personal.  Counter the offense with niceness in the future.

You're being childish.

Better alternative: Be an understanding adult and keep your judgments to yourself for a while.  Correct him when he's calm.

You didn't have that problem yesterday / last week / whenever.
If you bring this up, then that's a good sign you don't understand Bipolar Mood.  Do your research first.
It can be frustrating, bit just be understanding and and supportive. Know and help to avoid the triggers.

It's your fault.
Better alternative: To avoid unnecessary arguments, be the first to apologize even if it isn't your fault. When things settle down, discuss how the both of you can improve the situation.

Stop that!
See "Calm down".

You'll be healed / You're healed.
Read more about BMD.

Are you stable today? / Are you normal? Better alternative: "How are you feeling today?"  - When asking this question , be sincere about it and be ready to really listen.
Or don't ask. Be sensitive and watch for symptoms.


I understand how you feel.
Believe me, you don't.
Better alternative: Be a sounding-board or a shoulder to cry on, without being preachy or feigning sympathy. And for the meantime, keep your judgments to yourself.

This other person is bipolar but he doesn't act like that.
Every person is different, Sherlock.
Better alternative: Read more about the illness.


You should / shouldn't  ...

Better alternative: Avoid saying "should". Try to be more understanding and don't heap too many expectations. If you want to impose certain behavior, you have to be ready to take up changes of behavior yourself too.

I don't care.

Better alternative: Listen. Uncross those arms. Pay attention. Assume a friendly disposition. If you want a positive response, initiate a positive demeanor.  The one thing your bipolar might need at that time is just someone to acknowledge him.