i found another christian bipolar blogger

today's flavor: S L I G H T D E P R E S S I O N
anxiety : 1
agitation : 2

I found a blog I was definitely interested in.  It wasn't the least bit flashy, it wasn't the informative type, but I gave it a follow because it's the honest online journal of a lady who is both a Christian and a bipolar, like myself.  The other day she wrote an entry I could relate with, and I had to post a comment.

I said,

Hi there!

Those stories of imperfect people encourage me too. They may have had their character flaws and personal failures, but they still brought glory to God with their lives.

I too am a Christian, and am bipolar, and I could pretty much relate with this. I’ve had periods of self-loathing and self condemnation from thinking of myself as a substandard Christian. The depression, the bursts of anger, the suicidal thoughts and so on – they’re things that most “good followers of Christ” are not supposed to have. I’ve heard teachings such as “depression is from the devil”, “Christians don’t express anger” and even “just cast it out”, and that stuff doesn’t really help. If ever, they’ve done more to discourage and rule people out than make them/us feel welcome in the fellowship of the perfect the family of God. I’m not saying that those teachings aren’t applicable to people who have disorders, but I believe churches and ministers can be more effective with a bit more sensitivity and education.

I’m learning to get over the condemnation by asking myself “What is a ‘good’ Christian anyway?” I realize that we humans have pinned a whole lot of other qualifications for “Christianity” / “holiness” that God never required of us. I’m not making excuses for my loathsome behavior, but though I may seem to be a “weak Christian” by other people’s standards, I still believe I’m doing great in God’s eyes. He loves me and he’s willing to walk with me through the craziest of days, and he’ll make something good out of everything eventually.

 
This morning I checked for her reply, and she said,

Hello mira templen! Welcome to Bipolar World!

I have to say a HUGE THANK YOU for taking the time to write such a sensitive and thought out response to my last post. Thank you. There I go again. I have had a really crappy day and I’m just fed up with trying so hard to fight my “loathsome behavior” as you put it. The only thing that makes days like today bearable is that I know without a doubt that God loves me. Getting a comment from you… somebody who clearly understands EXACTLY how I feel has made me cry. I have been wired for sound all day today and I just wanted to cry and get it out but I couldn’t… and God, in his infinite wisdom had you read my blog and say the only words that could possible help me let it out and take my first real breath all day. Thank you and may God bless you as much as your comment has blessed me.

 

I'm glad my semi-random bloghopping and my sudden urge to comment ended up blessing another.  I'm particularly glad I found a person who had something similar with me, and has a good, solid idea of what I'm going through.  I want to keep in touch and be online friends.  ^_^