I've read some articles on how it's actually not uncommon for those with Bipolar Condition to have Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior.
BMD, particularly depression, goes hand-in-hand with OCD. Comorbidity, it's called. I can't sufficiently explain things in technical medicobabble for why or how (thus a link to an article has been provided) but I sort of see the truth in it - at least in the way that it goes on in my life. It's a sort of coping mechanism, I suppose.
Although I don't think I have the obsessive-compulsive disorder, I admit do have obsessive-compulsive behavior, especially when stressed:
- ritualizing
- obsessive thinking
- imagining germs
- semi-rational fears, (I say semi-rational because I don't want to admit they're irrational)
- ruminating
- arranging and rearranging
- triple-checking
- cleansing compulsions (handwashing / toothbrushing)
- pack-ratting
- self-poking
- guilt-tripping
- hand-tapping
- out-of place overpraying
- other things regarding my hands
Concrete examples of how I can go all Adrian Monk:
- I could lose sleep over what to wear the following day due to a mental litany of pros and cons of every possible choice.
- When I am alone at home and lunchtime comes, it could take me the whole afternoon to decide what to eat, or whether to eat at all, so I end up not eating until dinner time when someone else decides what he wants to have.
- I cannot answer "Where do you want to meet?" Because I can think of a hundred places I would want to be but would greatly inconvenience either me or the other party.
- At random intervals during the day, I feel the need to brush my teeth again.
- Whenever I work or cook, the times I wash my hands or wipe the work-surface cannot be counted.
- I can go out of the house without money, but never without hand sanitizer. It's not just a girl thing. I NEED my hand sanitizer because touching money, hand rails, public table tops or other people's hands drives me bonkers.
The obsessions and compulsions - although they could drive me (and others) crazy sometimes - in some twisted way generate for me a feeling of unstable security, particularly in times I feel stressed. The behavior helps me to:
(a) Lie to myself that "everything is under control", or
(b) Nonverbally expression of that underlying desire to keep things manageable.
I realize that underneath it all was a fear of missing a step that could quite possibly ruin my life. I suppose that's why it's much worse when I'm depressed.
