Incredible. It's almost the end of another year and I haven't even begun to savor this one yet.
I usually have mixed episodes in November-December, but there's a chance that it won't be that way this year, since the trademark plunge for September and the elevation for October didn't happen as I extrapolated.
Anyway , I'd rather have mixed eps instead of depressed ones. Keeping my fingers crossed.
I did some reading again recently and noticed that some Lithium side effects are the same as depression symptoms:
- slowness of thinking, speech and movement
- lack of coordination
- feeling of numbness / dullness
- lethargy
- fatigue
- clouded thinking
- blurry vision
- muscle pain
- etc.
I started worrying that maybe I was having an overdose, but Hubby helped me discern that I was just being paranoid (snicker!). I was after all taking only one tablet every other day (Still as a precaution, I intend to take a blood test, the kind that determines thyroid conditions and such).
I also realized that I may have been confusing slight depressions with side effects of Lithium. It would feel like a slight depression, but if it comes with zero anxiety or irritability, it isn't really an episode after all. I suppose then I should slate it as normal if there's only a very slight dullness or numbness and if both anx and agit are zero, or else my records will suggest that I've been mostly depressed, which isn't quite exact.
According to my reading, it's also quite common for Lithium-takers to feel a bit slow and detached from themselves. Something like "I'm right here but my consciousness is miles away". I thought that was depression, but realize that it isn't necessarily so.
Here's how I describe what it's been like since I began to take it last year: it's been kinda like being under water, but a thin, breathable kind of water. A wee bit number, a wee bit dumber. I feel it's such a pity that I can't think as fast as I used to.
Oh well; I should just think of Lithium as a much-needed harness - without it, I could be harmful to myself and others (Think Napoleon, Hiltler and Stalin, haha!).
Glad for a lift. I hope it lasts long.
