the awkward lull after all the action

severe elevation | high elevation | moderate elevation | slight elevation | stable | slight depression | moderate depression | deep depression | severe depression || anx: 0, agit: 0

I hadn't realized that I haven't written a new entry in this blog for over two weeks. I think that's a good sign - it means I'm fairly busy and productive that I haven't had much time for rumination.

So yeah, it has been a moderately busy and enjoyable past few weeks. I worked it and tried my best to maximize the slight high. Though I do experience slight elevations, I don't get as elevated as I used to, and I kinda miss that (even thirst for it). There's even this feeling like I'm missing something - missing something like an intense passion. Still I'm glad for the drug-muffled highs.

(And I'd really have to say that I am SO not glad for "friends" who still don't get it up to now. Major frustration. Just last week some idjit "friend" was getting all controlling again, thinking he was helping but was actually a big, bold FAIL, because he wasn't willing to b e sensitive in the first place. Sheeeesh.)

Today that all the action is finally over, I realize that I am bored and face the possibility of slumping into another chemical depression.

Behold, the awkard lull.

Darnit, I don't even want to think about what comes after.

God, please - can just have back-to-back manic episodes? May I please skip out on the depressive lows? Even if I don't have stable times anymore, it's okay as long as I don't get depressed again. Big heavy sigh.