Zero hours of sleep since the other night.
The past few days have been a depression cocktail. Though I haven't yet plunged all the way to severe dep., I have misplaced (not lost) the use of all my limbs and mental functions.
At least I still have my wyckid sense of humor. I can still make fun of myself.
Been faithful with the Lithium, much thanks to the help of the Hubby. I think that's what's making my head bubble and ... what was I saying?
In the daytime, I never left the bed except to use the toilet. And though I stayed in bed, I didn't sleep a wink. I didn't eat a thing either until the Hubby pried me out of bed. I actually have no idea where the day went. All I know is I had the lap top on top of my lap and I blogged. I didn't even FB, I didn't even have any new mail to check. I just submitted to my obsessive thoughts and compulsions, and used up the day endlessly adjusting and readjusting whatever I could adjust and readjust. Pathetic.
The funny thing is, despite my clouded, un-alert head, I keep keeps forming word plays and other irrelevancies. My mind has been able to automatically formulate quips, riddles and alliterations. Maybe I should write them down and see if they're worth anything when I'm stable.
Darn I ffeel so weak and tired and I's just love to sleep but i ca't.
Depression Salad Supreme
ingredients:
- Despondency cocktail, 5 gallons (this serves as the base)
- Muscle fatigue, several servings
- Genuine death wish (make sure to check the label that it is genuine, not a cheap emo imitation)
- Obsession powder, a sprinkling
- Granulated compulsions, 1 tbsp
- Autophobia, 4 gallons
- Agoraphobia, peeled
- Mental dullness, a dash
- Paranoia, 1 small pinch
- Anxiety, 2 cubes, crushed
- Irritability, 2 cubes, crushed
- Sleeplessness, at least 24 hours; solid not spongy
- Fickle spice (powdered indecision sticks), a sprinkling
procedure:
- Important reminder: Ingredients must be combined and contained in a predisposition bowl, or else the recipe will not hold. You may choose from several various predispositions such as Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Unipolar condition, Chronic Melancholia et al.
- Fold the muscle fatigue into the despondency cocktail.
- Wrap this mixture into the genuine death wish. Set aside and let settle for 30 minutes.
- When the despondency-muscle fatigue-death wish mixture is ready, it will be heavy and have the consistency of imported peanut butter. Crunchy, not creamy. Combine all remaining ingredients except the last four. Blend well until hard and lumpy. The mixture will get thicker and harder as it is stirred. That means it is working.
- When mixture forms hard, jagged peaks that hurt people around you, top with the crushed anxiety and irritability.
- Spread on a heavy loaf of sleeplessness.
- Sprinkle fickle spice for color.
- Serve hard and cold.
