flaky-crust zombie

Where I'm at today: S L I G H T E L E V A T I O N
anxiety : 0 | agitation : 0


At this moment (I mean this time that I am now writing), I feel like a zombie with flaky pastry crust and a tender, chunky stewed center. I had but a few hours of sleep this morning. I'm trying not to nap so that it would be easy to fall asleep come bedtime.

Imagine this. After I'd already re-html'd my blogsites and re-designed them again, I did it all over, with other new designs this time. Aside from the fact that I've been feeling a bit more energetic these days, I can't help obsessing. I kept thinking that there was just something about the previous designs that could still be done better. So I did them better. And it took me two whole daylights.

And now though I am very satisfied with the outcome, I still have that it could still be better feeling. Dangit, it's Holy Week, I ought to be taking a break.

Speaking of, I'm kinda disappointed that we cant take a trip out of town this summer. :( Big boo.

Anyway, back to the obsessing business.

By the time I'd finished, I decided to experiment with some code to see if I could make a background that was easy to install. Not for me - for someone else, in case someone needed one. You never know when someone would need an emergency easy-install site background. I didn't really have to do it, but my obsessive compulsions got the best of me. All the what ifs and what not. For some twisted reason, I was enjoying the mental torture.

Luckily there was a power failure around 10 pm, or I would have stayed up all night working on my little creative projects. The outage was just at our house - a freak accident precipitated by unknown factors which resulted in a cable breakage.

Waiting for the power company guys took four disconnected phone calls and a few hours - which wasn't entirely bad, since the Hubby and I spent the time chatting under the clouded-over night sky. It seemed like those Meralco guys really took their time; it must have been past 1 a.m. when they arrived with their unassuming little utility truck.

After the power was reconnected, I tried putting myself to sleep, but I was fully awake despite the diphenhydramine. As a result I stayed awake all night in bed again. But at least I did not work or write or create or anything until my eyes popped out . I just lied there. Yeah. I know when it's time for rest. It's those power company people who don't.

Secretly I was wishing the roosters would start crowing. I was excited to go into the day and continue my creative projects that were interrupted by the power outage. I felt so antsy and I had so many things in my head that I wanted to discuss them with someone.

Knowing it was still a long stretch to daylight and that I didn't feel the least bit drowsy, I decided to have a chat with God. Or rather, to throw my obsessive ideas toward Him. If I was awake by myself and feeling chatty, He was the best One to talk to. He wouldn't fall asleep on me. So on and on I rambled about various things that might have bored another person into a coma. I was hoping this would help put me to sleep, but it just managed to pump me up even more, and before I knew it the Hubby's alarm clock was ringing, telling me it was five a.m. and it time to get up.

By the time the Hubby was up and ready to do some chores (we had decided to do some cleaning around the house while everyone else was away for the Holiday), my consciousness was shimmering out. Shimmering out. The next thing I was conscious of was the fact that it was 9 in the morning and the Hubby was asking me to move to another room because he needed to use the bug spray.

Twelve boring hours later, I find myself tired and wishing for a soft, cozy bed but not wanting to sleep just yet because nothing has happened to my day yet.