today's weather: S L I G H T E L E V A T I O Nanxiety : 1 | agitation : 3
It seems I'm on an upward swing. I've been reading, reading, reading and writing, writing, writing, and staying up all night just to do that. My readings are not exactly easy-reading (such as Dr. Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time; I am also re-reading J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion and The Shaping of Middle Earth), but I find them addictive and un-put-down-able. I keep having ideas of what to draw and paint and create, but never get around to drawing them because I'd rather be doing something else that doesn't take too much time and effort. And I'm so darn easily distracted and I jump from one activity to another. And I've been doing a lot of chores - I think i even enjoy it - because I obsess about the mess and the imaginary germs, and I seem to have a lot of excess energy for it. This morning i just scrubbed, wiped and towel-dried square meters of floor because the rabbit missed the litterbox. I think about sex a lot and in fact want to get some - nay, several - every day. My thoughts are racing racing racing and crashing into each other, and it comes that there is a lingering feeling of frustration and agitation. Yes, this certainly is an elevation.
... Which is weird, because I usually settle down at this time of the month and then fade in to delirious depression within a few weeks. Coming to think of it, this year's cyclical patterns are a bit off whack; I was expecting to escalate in the summer but did not (at least not so much), and spent some days in Mirkwood instead (Sheesh, I'm in Tolkien mode again. How geeky can i get?). Maybe it's the moon. Or the tides. Or both. Or the alignment of Eรคrendil with Carnil. Or the fact that I did not go anywhere near the beach this summer and was deprived of sun, and that really doesn't make sense.
But that isn't exactly bad, since these days episodes have never gone beyond the slight level; everything's easily manageable. Yes, ever since the uprooting from Raven Corp., it's been sheer - um, normalcy. I've lost some weight since too - which is good, because I look better.
