the good thing about acquired phobiae

today's weather: B A S E L I N E
anxiety : 0 | agitation : 0

I paused from reading Dean Koontz' False Memory, and then last Saturday I picked up where I left off. I found more reflections of my autophobia in the heroine's, and even nodded at the portrayal of the agoraphobia of another character, and the suicidal thawts of another. Really amusing how the characters seem to quote me.

The Hubby's been home a lot these days (he's been attending to some family matters, and then was sick for a week), and his constant company makes me feel safe. I don't need to worry about the monophobia / autophobia kicking in while someone I trust is around.

As for the agoraphobia and social anxiety - there hasn't been much of it lately, now that I am free from the Ravens and their judgment. Since I am no longer required to have a showcasey life, am no longer evaluated according to standards I don't agree with and no longer fear failing those standards, the agoraphobia has been starved.

The good thing about these acquired phobiae and anxiety is that you can un-acquire them through practicable processes. Professionals call it cognitive therapy. The anxiety I feel in general has been made manageable and even minimized without any sort of therapy, support group or counseling. None at all. No doctors or drugs even (It's not that I'm being resistant or anything of that sort; it's just that we're low on cash ad don't have much of a choice). The only "therapy" has been to bite off only what I can chew, and remove the bitter parts (the avoidable triggers). The only "counseling" has been prayer and honest conversations with trustable people. The only "support group" has been the Hubby. This formula has been the most effective thing I've ever applied so far.

Speaking of the Hubby. Since escaping the Unkindness of Ravens, the Hubby and I have grown much closer. There never really was a rift between us or anything like that, but these days i feel like he's been restored to me. It's as if the Ravens have been trying to steal him all these years, and now that we've moved away, they stopped claiming him and now he's really mine. It's made an enormous difference in our lives that he is no longer bullied by RavenCorp into a lifestyle with twisted priorities. I feel more loved by him and loving toward him now.