today's weather: S L I G H T D E P R E S S I O N anxiety : 1
agitation : 1
I've had to rely on the happy yellow pills to function. They give me a bit of energy. Not too much; just enough to haul myself out of bed and get through the day.
I told the Hubby about the extermination rumination. He hid my craft-knife just to make sure I don't carry anything out. He knows he shouldn't not take it seriously.
I have another one in the art supplies box. A craft-knife, I mean. And a few cutters in the desk drawer.
But like I said previously, I'm not really going to do it. Slitting wrists is for teenagers; I'm neither emo nor cliche.
So I'm going for a stab to the jugular.
Kidding!
Like I said previously, I'm not really going to do it.
On another note, i think the happy yellow pills are side-effecting. I've been warned they're not supposed to be for bipolars, but I need uppers, so spank me.
I think they're making the imaginary chatter more chatty. The imaginary chatter has been getting chattier lately, I thought maybe the happy yellow pills have something to do with that. The chattier is getting chattier, making my monophobia more monophobic. I've been projecting slides in my head about cutting my ear off, wondering if that would make things a bit quieter.
Oh! -- So that's probably why Van Gogh did it. Cut his ear off, I mean. The souvenir bit could've just been a latter addendum.
Maybe it's time to return to the Lithium. :(
