today's weather: S L I G H T D E P R E S S I O N anxiety : 2
agitation : 3
I know that Jesus says in the Bible, "Do not worry", but even after years of being a committed Christian, I still have trouble about "not worrying" sometimes.
At certain times it's a simple undertaking. I can trust in God easily, and fully believe everything's going to be hunky-dory. No fretting, no faking. Faith for big things is an accessible, bottomless reservoir during elevated episodes. I wish it were always so.
And there are other times - like right now - I worry until I run out of energy. Anxiety galore. It would be better to just sedate me.
I have no doubt that God will provide everything that I need. But I doubt whether He and I have congruent perceptions of "everything I need" [Just to make it clear: That is a weakness on my part, not his].
For another matter, finding the balance between "worrying" and "being responsible" could sometimes be tricky. I logically know the difference between them, so I don't need a lecture. My difficulty lies in the emotional level. "Not worrying" does not mean "doing nothing" (did you catch that?); believing for something is evidenced by a bit of action. In certain points on the cycle, I can't fight the anxiety while being responsible, and it ends up feeling a lot like worry. It's nothing spiritual; it's just chemical.
