anxiety : 0
agitation : 30
Possibly one of my greatest sources of frustration these days is that my mind isn't as keen as it used to be. It's isn't because of aging, contrary to the usual joke (besides, that sort of joke is getting so stale; anyone who doles it out ought to be gagged and bound). I've noticed a drastic change in my ability to process and store new information, which started exactly at that time I started taking those useless meds. And alas, that ability hasn't yet recovered, despite my efforts to sharpen my mind.
It's upsetting, for example, that I sometimes have a hard time recalling useful trivia, the meanings of certain words, or historical facts that were previously familiar to me - only to have them return to me at a later time, when I no longer need them.
Just a while earlier, I was reading some nonfiction. I came to this part about how Italy wasn't a country until the mid-19th century. My mind went, "Is that so?", and soon afterward I wondered if I had known that before. I flipped open my pocket copy of Niccolo Machiavelli's The Prince to see if I had scribbled anything about that in the margins. I happen to have this habit of making notes in the margins whenever i read nonfiction, and I supposed I would've noted something briefly about that when I read the book a few years ago, or when I re-read it just last year.
True enough, I found that I had jotted in the margin that what is now known as Italy used to be several independent city-states previously under Austrian authority. I also made a note that the first king was Victor Emmanuel II, who was rumored to be a butcher's son, then I even stated his royal house. I even listed a few of the city-states and their respective ruling houses.
Darnit. How could I have forgotten something I was apparently interested enough in to make margin-jokes about?
Well I assume this is why I need to make a habit of writing everything down. The noodle isn't as good as it used to be.
