today's weather: B A S E L I N E / N O R M A Lanxiety : o | agitation : o
Lithium-free, nine months and counting. No major episodes and loving it.
I hope not to attract any ire for my decision to stay away from my drugs this long, but I probably will, and that's understandable. I just need to do this because Lithium has been more harmful than helpful, and I'd prefer not to experience the side effects.
I don't despise drugs; I'm not one of those flaky, overspiritual Christians who think it is wrong to trust in medicine. I do take meds, I do see doctors and do take treatment as needed - I just prefer to use them without being dependent.
Besides, what's the point of medicine that suppresses one symptom but produces others? Like if my Lithium supposedly muffles the mood swings but heightens the risk for neurotoxicity and poses dangers during pregnancy (not that I intend to be pregnant soon, but just in case it happens, right?), I think I'd like to stay away for a while. For a while.
I do plan to go back on Lithium, particularly when I work again and expose myself to various triggers. But for now that I'm mostly just chilling, I'd rather save money (thirty bucks' worth of drugs a day can really burn holes in your piggy bank, so no thank you, not right now) and save my precious brain cells.
I was talking with a friend some time ago about how good it's been without Lithium so far. Of course I do benefit from taking meds, but I find that surronding myself with loving, supportive relationships is far more helpful and beneficial. Meds are great and all, but they are not the only solution, and I don't even think they are the best.
I quite think it's an unhealthy attitude toward drugs to treat them as a cure-all - Feeling sad? Drink your meds. Feeling energetic? Take your meds. You worried about something? Take your meds. PMS? Take your meds. It's not like problems will go away if you "take your meds".
Poking around and doing research about Bipolar Mood, I learned that one of the top treatments is loving relationships. If a person for example does take his drugs but is constantly misunderstood and rejected by the people around him, a pervading sense of insecurity becomes a permanent stressor in the background of his daily life, which turns even the most minor triggers into major catastrophes. Even with the meds, there will be a lot of drama. I noticed that bipolars or depressives who tend to be heavily dependent on meds are those who don't feel very loved by their families. Often spouses or parents of bipolars could be insensitive, thus unknowingly and carelessly worsening the condition. If all they do is isolate the "crazy person", complain about his mood swings, refuse to understand him and adopt a "take your meds" mentality, it creates a whole toxic, suicidal, murderous atmosphere for the bipolar, which he ill surely act out on.
I'm not saying that all those who take meds are rejected by their families. I'm talking about those who depend heavily on drugs, those who feel like medication is their only hope. There are those of course who have good relationships but have a high-stress job or lifestyle, and need the drugs to curb the swings - but they aren't as hopeless and resigned as those who have a sense of security in their closest relationships.
The bottom line is that family and friends play an important role. If a bipolar feels safe, loved and wanted, it makes a lot of difference.
I'm fortunate that I have caring, supportive family and friends. I've cut off the toxic relationships, and stayed away from that environment which has a lot of overhanging and underlying rejection and intolerance. That did more good than the Lithium ever has. As long as I feel secure, I can handle the triggers.
