Bipolar people sometimes party and other times they may just be plain depressed. It is quite daunting for us bipolar people when we arrive back home or end up in a friends house after a night of hardcore partying. Not only have we spent incredible amounts of money but we have been in places and done things that we may regret later on. The manic frenzy is an incredible one and we all enjoy it at these times. However medication is designed to control such desires.
Bipolar people like to party hard and it is difficult to become just normal like average Joe. Indeed we can't party every night but when we do, I believe it is important that we allow some more time to recover. After a night out we wont necessarily be depressed but we must be prepared.
Quoted from this blog. Text-styling mine.
Bipolars are party animals. When they're high, they're high and like to springboard into greater elevations. But when the after-party low hits, it's a down-low low.
I keep thinking of the Nikki character played by Sienna Miller in the movie Alfie (2004, starring Jude law .. by the way, it's Jude Law's birthday today, December 29).
I love her. Nutty Nikki. "Damaged," as Alfie said. I really think she's bipolar; it wasn't quite stated but I can't ignore the context clues: Mood swings. Daring, shocking and embarrassing behavior. Flamboyant fashion. Addiction. Un-subtle flirting and crazy sexual activity. Creative manic business. A dependent neediness. Medication she sometimes thinks she doesn't need. And the wild partying. That's familiar territory for me.
Contrary to what a lot of people perceive about me, i like parties. Maybe even love them. I crave parties. It's just that I've been ditching most of the "church people parties" because they often suck, i.e., they aren't the kind of parties I want to be at. So church people think I'm not the party type. The thing is, I'm not the lame-o party type. I'd really rather be home with a good book than waste my time with parlor games, "blessing" conversations, and potluck - er, potbless.
Just to get things straight: I don't seek to get wasted okay? I don't even intend to do anything crazy or questionable. But I do always wish there was some sort of rush and not just tame fun. I still believe there could be clean - emphasis on the CLEAN - fun that would be exhilarating for a bipolar bear like myself.
As a pre-medicated and pre-Christianized young adult, I've had my share of waking up hungover and remorseful of having done something repulsive or STOOPId the night before. I hated the guilt and the embarrassment, but I loved the un-safe craziness. I was proud of it. I constantly had an appetite for it.
And here I am now, medicated and indoctrinated, and though I don't even feel old, I've had to make do with the "safe" party scene. Have whatever clean fun I can have. Then get all depressed afterward for not having the fun that I want.
The blogger went on to say,
It is important that we enjoy life as a whole rather than just the manic moments. As long as we can feel emotions we will be alright ... Be hopeful, you will be okay.This, by the way, was written by someone who does not trust the drugs and does not take any.
I try to suck all I can from a high while I'm in it, knowing that a low would be just around the corner. And for all its wretched misery, I find something I appreciate about the depressions. Like a bipolar friend of mine once said, it's better to feel extremes from time to time than feeling nothing.
And now to prepare for another party tonight ...
Tomorrow night I'll be getting together with some non-church friends. Haven't seen them in a decade. I'm curious about how the night will turn out. Don't worry; I'm very, positively, certainly sure that I won't be doing any alcohol or anything questionable. I just hope to have some rush kind of fun.
